Couple's Therapy
by Warfang
Summary: When Mikado finishes his homework early one day, a conversation kicks off a new plot. Inspired by Nocturnalux's "Therapy is Good for You"


I do not own Durarara!

On with the story!

Mikado was humming to himself as he typed at the computer. Kida was still struggling over his summer homework. When Mikado had offered to have him over for a stress-releasing good time, eating snacks and doing his homework had not been what crossed his mind.

But here he was, done reading his selected book and the book report half-way done. Mikado was surfing the net, his work already finished and place inside his schoolbag, nestled in the corner.

His friend was a workaholic.

That was when Kida turned his head after getting stuck after four paragraphs. All the information he wanted to say was written down, but there was still a blank area. And he had written very small too! If only sensei wasn't such a stickler about blank spaces…

Flipping to the next page, Kida realized that Mikado's typing had even out to a steady pace. Realizing that Mikado had opened a word document, Kida wondered what he was writing.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Oh, there's this site that lets you turn characters into whatever you want to do, so long as you disavow any ownership. I was thinking of doing a couple's therapy of unrelated short snippets. So far, I have Shizuo and Izaya, Kadota and Izaya, Celty and Shinra, Mika and Seiji, Nami and Seiji, and that bully girl with her two boyfriends. I wonder who Aoba would go with?"

"So why aren't you and Anri-chan in that list?"

Mikado tensed. He turned around slowly, until he could look at Kida. Kida was realizing by the second how bad his suggestion must have sounded when Mikado finally asked,

"And why would Sonohara-san and I need to go to therapy?" He was so calm.

Kida was so screwed.

Unless he wanted to be in the dog house for the next month, he needed t think up something fast.

"Because, it would be like that annual checkup we get for our health! You don't need it, but you do it anyways! Even the most loving couples do it! No, they do it because they are the most loving!"

Kida could feel the sweat drops dripping off his neck. Mikado sighed.

"I'm not all that mad, Kida. You just surprised me, assuming Sonohara-san and I were a couple. I mean, you are back, but we just never found the perfect opportunity together to ask you."

It's like we're scared that if you give us permission to be without you, we'll leave you behind.

The unsettling cloud Izaya had laid over them threatened to dampen Mikado's good cheer.

"Oh. I thought it was because Anri-chan still feeds off the attention of others, nice as she is."

Mikado stilled again.

Great. Mouth, meet foot.

"We know. But I still like her, so I want to try at least. Next time we see her, let's get your permission to date."

"Okay."

Wow, he had screwed up. Mikado was doing the whole 'I'm-not-upset' routine. Wondering what would possible cheer Mikado up, Kida shrugged.

"Hey, you could do crack pairings to make it funnier. Like, Izaya and Celty about their work relationship, and how we as gang leaders nearly ruin ero Anri-chan's perfect Valentine's plan, or something."

Mikado shook his head, but he turned around and added the suggestions to his bulletin list.

"Actually, I did miss a pairing."

"Hm? Not Erika and Walker getting a divorce over who loves manga more?"

"Nope. You and Saki."

Kida felt his face flame.

"Wha- what!"

"Until I can come up with something for Sonohara-san and myself, you have to suffer being dropped off for couple counseling by Izaya-san."

"Someone should put you and Izaya on a couple's couch." Kida muttered.

"What was that, Kida?"

"Someone should pair the masterminds of Ikebukuro and Shinjuku together. Together, they will rule Japan!" Kida proclaimed, throwing his arms up and flopping back from the table.

"Is now a bad time?" Izaya asked, leaning over Kida.

"GAH!"

Over at the computer, Mikado hit save and a few keys. The document vanished, and didn't appear in the bar at the bottom.

Kida sat up, and twisted around.

"How did you get in here!"

"The front door. I pay the difference for the flat, so Mikado gave me a key. He also keeps some of my more valuable documents hidden for me sometimes. Here's your cut from the last job."

Izaya handed Mikado a paper bag. Mikado opened an envelope. Kida felt like fainting. That much money…what the heck was Mikado doing? Owning an underground gambling den, pimping, and supplying drugs to the Asian countries?

"I tracked down someone's lost dog, Kida. That's what my private agency does. I find things, and Izaya sells information."

"And if we had a merger, you could easily triple your profits. Especially since you keep working at such flat rates."

Kida knew a lean when he saw one.

"If he wants you at his disposal, he'll hire you." Kida snapped. Just great. Now he was butting into arguments that didn't involve him.

"Much like how he has you at his disposal?" Izaya shot back.

"Izaya."

Both males turned from their fight to Mikado.

"See to it that this money is sent back to my parents, the equivalent in smaller bills. They'll be delighted. The rest goes into my savings account. I'll keep these for expenses." Mikado skimmed off ten bills and folded them into his wallet.

"Kida."

The blond fought the urge to flinch and faced Mikado as the youth remained kneeling as Izaya retrieved the bag.

"Would you like to eat out tonight? It'll be at Russia Sushi, and after you finish that book report."

"Okay." Kida nodded and sat back down, grabbing his pen and getting back to work on his paper. Izaya let himself out.

Mikado typed on the keyboard and brought his document back up.

"I'm adding you and Izaya as a crack pair."

Kida decided he deserved that after nearly fighting with Izaya near Mikado's precious computer.

Not that either of them would ever hurt Mikado. There were certain artifacts sealed up that would be uncovered with Mikado's death that would be disposed of only at his posthumous word.

"Of course, chances of seeing Izaya at Russia Sushi have increased exponentially. I wonder if Shizuo-san is working that area tonight?"

Kida decided that staying on Mikado's good side was better than his neutral side.

"Is that because of the fight?"

"No. I told him I wasn't interested on being partners. Your concern is appreciated, not needed."

….yeah, never get on Mikado's bad side.

* * *

><p>AN: Yes, this was inspired. Chances are, I'm actually going to follow this with the threatened couplings from Mikado's viewpoint instead of my usual one as an observer of the series. I wonder if I should have Izaya discover it and comment after the story in a review? All fabricated in the same chapter.

This fanfic was inspired by Nocturnalux and the story "Therapy is Good for You"


End file.
